What time does ........

2008-07-22T11:45:00.000-07:00

This happened many years ago when I was working in Secunderabad. There was a direct land line next to my table and its number was pretty much similar to Railway Enquiry. Those days Railways did not have the three digit enquiry numbers.

Well, one day, while I was busy at my desk, the phone rang and no one was around to lift. I picked-up the call and before I could say "hello" a lady on the other end asked hurriedly "what time does Madras Express depart from Secunderabad?". I knew the time and since it was అ lady, I said courteously the time. But she did not hangup.

She continued and asked "what time does it arrive at Madras Central?" I certainly did not have an answer upfront. I told her "please stay on line", accessed a Time Table in a cup board three tables away, referred to it and answered her.

She was evidently irritated at the long pause and quipped -"does it take such a long time for you to respond?". I told her " I had to refer to a Time Table and it was readily not there on my desk".

My matter of fact reply apparently miffed her and she said -"neither you know the timings nor you have the Tables; is this how you respond the Enquiry callers?"

This time I did not give up and said "not many call, for these timings everyday". Mistaking me for impudent, she attacked me "no callers? Then how your lines are always engaged, on no end?".

Having decided not to stretch any farther, I said "This is so and so Company and not Railway Enquiry". She turned at once apologetic and said "but why did you answer?"

"You were in such a hurry and I knew the Train Time. But for the second enquiry I did not have the reply off hand and I had to put you on hold" I said.

She regretted profusely and exchanged her number.

Best Joke

2006-09-26T13:05:00.000-07:00

The best joke I ever enjoyed goes like this in Telugu.

A son asks his father that how Chikaku, Kopam & Agraham are different from each other.

All my family members must have heard this joke countless number of times narrated by me. Nevertheless, I shall render this once again. I shall continue soon.

I am back. Let's continue.

Father ponders over the request and tells the son to pickup the parallel line of their phone and stay quiet. Father dials a number and after a few rings, a man responds on the other end and says "Helloooo" - uninterestedly.

Father asks the man at the "receiving" end " "Is it Mr. Subbarao?"

The other man says " No, wrong number."

Without loosing breath the father quips -" but Mr. Subba Rao ji told me this is their number."
The man at the other end politely refuses and says "No, you have got a wrong number, please..."
Father cuts him short and insists "Can I know who am I speaking to on Mr. Subba Rao ji's number?"
The other man realizes that his peace is under threat and brings the mouth piece before his eyes and says with firmness & authority "This is NOT Subba Rao JI 's number. Put down the phone." and murmurs "what nuisance early in the morning" before cradling the phone making rattle.

Father reveals to the Son that this is Chikaku. Having understood he asks his father " what is Kopam?"

Father agrees to demonstarte. He dials the same number. The other man picks up the phone after many rings hesitantly and says "helloooo" in an assumed harsh tone.

Father in a modulated voice feigning respect says "yeh, call Peddayya ji (meaning Big Boss)"

Experiencing a bit of respite and truly believing that trhis is a genuine caller "seeking" him, the other man says "I am Peddayya speaking. Who is .....?"

Before he could even finish father interrupts him and says " who the heck are you? Head cook or gardener? Call Peddayya ji, Mr. Subba rao ji?"

Now, loosing his temper, but under restraint the other man says " Who the hell are YOU? There is no Subba Rao, Gibba Rao here. Mind your business here and don'you call here?"

Father strikes him off with a sigh "hey abbai (roughly simpleton!) call Peddayya ji - Mr. Subba Rao ji. When we call for Peddayya, speak properly and learn manners" and chides him.

The other man gets up from his chair and yells " Where are you from? Which colony? How dare you call me names at my place? Put down the phone before I hang you dry" slams the phone making bigger noise and remains gasping for breath.

Son nods his head in understanding the concept of " Kopam". Now it is time for " Agraham" the ultimate, the climax, the peak.

Father dials the same number. Sensing trouble the other man does not pickup. He dials again. Not realizing what to do, the other man leaves it un answered. Father doe not give up. Doubting who the caller could be, the other man answers with mixed feelings of frustration & hope.

He says briefly " yes, hello"

Father with all friendliness sounding in his voice says" Sir, I am Subba Rao speaking. Did any one call for me since morning? What messages are there for me?"

I shall continue later.

I am back. Let me continue.

Cursing bitterly his vulnerability of becoming breakfast to unseen guests, he gets up from his chair, holding the mouth piece with both the hands yells striaght in " you tail of a monkey, nail of a donkey, pail of mud - how dare you royally give my number to peas and nuts on winding curves of murky streets and have the guts to ask ME for messages. Arreiyy, come, come in front of me." Now, he releases one hand from mouth piece and beats his right inner thigh." Tell me where you are ? I will chase you out of the world. Who are you. You can not play in the center of my house and I can NOT be your foot ball. Come. Tell me. Where are you........."

While the other man is continuing on on no end, father demonstrates the son, what is Agraham.

My Musings

What time does ........

Best Joke